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If
marriage disappeared tomorrow, there would be a
lot of retro-colored blenders sitting in
warehouses with no one to buy them. (And, by the
way, the trend towards more formal second and
third weddings is directly related to the fact that the
wedding industry intends to make money when marriages
break down and re-form with different partners.) Your smart and in love, two mental states that are often thought of as incompatible. Smart women know that their romantic inclinations are scrutinized, analyzed and wooed by marketers, manufacturers and salespeople who want to get their manicured paws on your hard-earned cash. When a bride-to-be is in your position, the last thing you want to worry about is finances, but with the wedding industry staking an ever-increasing claim to the credit cards of modern-day men and women, a gal's gotta have a plan. So stick to your wedding budget from the beginning.
Gone are the days when you could buy a house for $4,000 and settle in with a toaster from your gift registry, one full-time breadwinner and a homemaker-and-mother-to-be. While many women rejoice at the freedom they've found in the workplace, just as many are shaking their heads and wondering where two paychecks go each month. It's no mystery—life costs a lot more than it ever did when the folks came home from World War II. The economy has adjusted upwards and upwards to make sure that two paychecks now cover what our parents or grandparents bought for one. It's no accident: the woman hours added to the economy since WWII, as well as the fact that women are still paid less than 70% of what men with the same experience and education are paid have resulted in tremendous increases in company profits. Think about it: a near doubling of the workforce with a 30% decrease in employment costs. But rather than costs decreasing, they increased, so these days, couples are hard pressed to make the monthly budget on two paychecks.
And the higher cost of living is reflected everywhere—from the $2,000 on average that men spend on engagement rings alone to the entire wedding industry, clocking in at an astounding $50 billion. (The wedding industry is rejoicing—gay and lesbian weddings are expected to add $17 billion annually to that total). The average wedding costs around $22,000, and many weddings top 50K. The tradition of having the bride's parents pay for the wedding is disappearing as people are marrying older and parents are becoming less willing to fork out the silver to solemnize a relationship whose chance of survival is 50%. With Boomer-generation parents spending their money on second cars and retirement homes, true love doesn't stand a chance in the parental pocketbook. And with more people remarrying after a first divorce, etiquette says that the bridal pair should pay their own way the second time around. All these things add up to this: there's a good chance that you're going to be spending your own jingle when it comes to your nuptials.
The upside of paying for your own wedding (and sticking to a budget) is that you can have it your way. You don't have to use your mom's favorite caterer or ask your cousin Belinda to be a bridesmaid when you're footing the bill (although your parents will still try to influence you. They are your parents, after all!)
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