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Etiquette has it that the best time to send a gift is sometime between hearing about the wedding and within three months of the date of the ceremony. Gifts are supposed to be sent to the bride's house, and your thank-you notes are supposed to be mailed out within three months after the wedding. Purchasing a gift album is a wise idea. Gifts can be logged into the book along with the name of the giver as they arrive at your house. With a gift album in place, you won't be staring at the penguin-shaped cocktail shaker, two and a half months down the line, and trying to recall where it came from so you can write a thank you note. Wedding registries came about as a way for couples to acquire the items they want while guests have the security of knowing the gift they buy will be used and appreciated. It's a funny twist on etiquette, because the bride and groom aren't allowed to tell people outright the gifts they want, but once they register, they can choose the gifts right down to the color and brand. Most department stores have gift registries, and the first registries were created to allow a couple to acquire the all-important set of wedding china and silverware, stemware and other dining and entertaining-related items. Because china tends to be so expensive, and because a "set" is considered to consist of 12 place settings, most guests can only afford to contribute a plate or two. Registries make it possible for people to buy a portion of a larger set: they also allow for groups of people who want o chip in on one big present, like a flat screen TV.
Gift registries aren't just for the big department stores anymore: stores like Target, clothing stores, camping and outdoors stores and kitchen specialty stores like Williams-Sonoma also have registries.
Cash Gifts
If someone wants to give you cash, accept with thanks. Money is a perfectly appropriate wedding gift, and in many cultures is the most meaningful gift of all. Beautiful is the bride who allows her guests the ease and comfort of writing a check instead of wandering through the aisles of Pottery Barn! Of course, there's no way to make the cash option perfectly clear, because there's no place for that kind of discussion on invitations. Gift etiquette states that people who throw you bridal showers can include registry information on the shower invitations, and the rest of your gift wishes should be spread by word of mouth. If you're having a wedding on a budget, make sure people know that you're open to unusual gifts of their time and energy in making the wedding itself a wonderful event. Tell your maid of honor to spread the word that cash will be treated as a valued and thoughtful gift.
Aside from the people who are buying you wedding gifts, there are the presents you should be buying for the people close to you. Expect to have small gifts for everyone in the wedding party—bridesmaids, groom's men, Maid of Honor, your parents and new in-laws, and anyone who threw you a shower. Small gifts might include candles, soaps or chocolates. Bigger thank-you's for the gal who opened her home to your drunken co-workers for a bridal shower might be something along the lines of a shawl, an oil lamp or a big box of Godiva chocolates. Expect to have gifts for your in-laws—a really nice bottle of champagne, a piece of crystal, and something terrific for your own mom and dad because they've probably been through hell and deserve a little recognition. Last but not least, brides and grooms buy gifts for each other to commemorate the start of wedded life.
If you need to cut costs, you can make the gifts you will be giving ahead of time, and store them away already wrapped, long before the ceremony. Simple home made gifts include pans of brownies made in advance and frozen in decorative paper trays, home made Almond Roca,
fruit flavored vinegars, scented bath salts (use your
dad's old whisky bottles for elegant, playful
containers). If you have experience with beading or
crochet, you may decide to make purses, bracelets or
necklaces for the female members of the wedding party.
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