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But if you're up for the challenge, you can schedule your wedding date in just a few hours of constant telephoning, with only a headache and swollen eyes at the end of the day. When choosing a wedding date, flexibility is key here! If you don't care when you get married, forget about June and think November. If the location doesn't mean that much to you, all the better. There's nothing more frustrating than trying to book a church and a reception location for the same day, but of course, weddings typically only last a day. Great ideas include using the house or garden of a friend or family member for the ceremony and the party afterwards—you'll save hundreds of dollars on the location. But if there's a special spot and you want your wedding to take place there, you may need to book a year in advance because many other people may feel the same way about that place. If you have your heart set on a particular location, don't call up and ask, "Do you have any openings in June?" Most likely, the answer will be, "Sure, June of 2010!" Instead, call and ask, "Can you give me a list of dates you have open?" Get the date set first, and then book the rest of the wedding around the date.
Early Scheduling Conflicts with Your Choosen Wedding Date
Invariably, someone won't be able to make it to your wedding because of the schedule. Take the list of potential dates and send it to your ten most important guests (and that includes your attendants and parents). Tell them you only have these dates to choose from, and ask them to mark any dates they can't make and send the list back. Save the date left open by most of the people on your VIP list, and then work on the person or people who said they couldn't come that day.
Avoid Sporting Events when Choosing a Wedding Date
Don't book your wedding during the Super Bowl unless you are certain none of your most valued guests are football enthusiasts. You would be amazed at the conflict generated by unwilling spouses, brothers and other members of the largely masculine contingent of football fans when their holy of Holies is challenged by a wedding. On the other hand, if you're absolutely sure that none of your friends, bridal party, family members or any of their partners and any clergy or other wedding officials have any interest in the Super Bowl, you may find schedules open at some of the better reception halls.
Proper Etiquette When Wedding Guests on Your List
Hate Each Other
Divorced parents or friends can make wedding planning a
tricky matter. Seat warring ex-spouses (or sisters or
cousins or ex-friends) at separate tables whenever
possible, but don't go too much out of your way to keep
them apart. It's your wedding, and if they are going to
come to it, they had better behave. If you know that
someone won't behave, don't invite that person. If
someone tells you, "If you invite so-and-so, I'm not
coming," say, "I'm sorry you feel that way. I'll take
your name off the list." The best way to deal with a
manipulative move is to accept the statement at face
value (although what it really means is, "You'd better
not invite that guy (or gal)".) If you can follow this
advice right from the start, you will save yourself huge
amounts of time, trouble and stress. Remember, it's your
wedding, and you call the shots.
Control the Guest List Yourself
The hardest thing about planning a wedding is wrangling
over the guest list. Everybody wants to get in on the
action, and the list just grows and grows. This is an
ideal time to collaborate with your fiancé and keep the
parents out of it. Set your limits, each choose half of
the guests, and don't listen to anyone else. If your
parents insist that you include their friends or other
people because you "just should—(s)he would be so hurt
otherwise", and you don't care about the crowd but worry
about the cost, then they can foot the increased bill.
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